Shouting 'fire' in the cartesian theater

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:37:19 GMT

Gonna be in Pgh this weekend.

We should hang out.

Yes, that means you. (Unless you don't live in Pittsburgh. Then it doesn't.)

The 59th street bridge is nothing like the song.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:42:55 GMT

Home sick. Too befogged to write. OH HEY GUESS IT'S TIME FOR LJ.

I've got myself a nice little routine up here. Most mornings I take the train in to Manhattan to work at the Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen. If I take the same train as snowth, I have an hour or so to kill, which usually means sitting on the steps of the post office thinking Allegedly Deep Thoughts. There's about a dozen writing projects (okay, three) that I'm gradually inching my way towards finishing, and a some folk music open jams that I've schlepped my mandolin to and plunked out a few chords,* and sometimes me and Snowth get really wild and go jogging or write in a coffee shop. My big actual accomplishment so far this summer has been training Pandora to recognize the difference between young awesome proto-punk Van Morrison and old tedious adult-contemporary Van Morrison. Now we're working on similar distinctions for Iggy Pop and Joni Mitchell (who for some reason it gives me on the same station).

*including the hilariously named beginner-targeted Bluegrass Slow Jam. I have a hard time not mentally appending the "z" to the name and hearing it pronounced in some kind of Cletus-meets-Barry-White voice. Gonna sit round the shack til the mail train comes back and roll in my sweet baby's arms aaaaawlllll night lonnnng, girl, oh yeah. Twang twang chicka bow wow. Come to think of it, didn't Beck make an album about that?

After high-tailing it out of philosophy a few years ago, Phil. of Language is slowly sucking me back in. The problem is that [strident undergrad voice] mainstream philosophy is just completely WRONG about EVERYTHING. Ahem. No, the problem is that there's all this woo-woo Platonism about meaning sloshing around. There are still people out there who will tell you with a straight face that we know what the word "dog" means because there is a TRANSCENDENT SET OF ALL DOGS in the UNIVERSE OF PURE MATHEMATICAL FORM that we.... uh, well, we're acquainted with it somehow, don't ask too many questions about that. I dunno. I'm not being fair, and it makes a little more sense than that, but not much more sense if you ask me. So it's either keep avoiding philosophers because they're most of 'em infested with this pseudoscientific metaphysical garbage, or spend an awful lot of time trying to talk sense to them. I guess plan B has started winning.

What else? I feel like I should be full of thrilling adventures to report back to TX, being in THE BIG CITY and all, but lemme tell you a secret, living here you wind up with a very small world. My universe is five subway stations, maybe six blocks of Greenpoint, a little chunk of Midtown around the soup kitchen and Snowth's work, and Washington Square Park. I swear I covered more ground and saw more different parts of Austin than I ever do here.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:08:38 GMT

"If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences."
"No. Don't you get it? If you die in Canada, you die in real life!"

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 19:45:49 GMT

Got to use the phrase "Asatru pillaging ethic" in an argument about the Protestant work ethic. I am perhaps rather more pleased with this than I should be.

Teenagers claim innocent behavior is innocent. WHAT ARE THEY HIDING? Film at 11...

Thu, 28 May 2009 15:07:05 GMT

Normally the NYT style section just mocks itself, but the trend piece/vague preliminary moral panic about how Kids These Days are hugging each other was too good to pass up.

High point: "Comforting as the hug may be, principals across the country have CLAMPED DOWN." (To be read in the what-you-don't-know-about-cuddly-little-puppies-could-kill-you local news voice.)

Also, I was totally hugging dudes platonically before it was cool.

Wed, 27 May 2009 14:41:50 GMT

Well, I'm pissed (though not surprised) about the ruling in CA.

And then I started reading the post-mortem lefty blog chatter, and now I'm pissed twice. MetaFilter is usually on the sane end of that particular spectrum, but today there were people joking about going out and burning a church down. Lots of big-brained-rational-atheist chest-thumping about the inferiority of those people — Christians, the poor, the uneducated, country-dwellers, and even (quietly) people of color. A few rounds with that old bag of bullshit about how they're out-breeding us and something must be done.

There's a line between anger and hatred, and I think it's ridiculous that people are so eager to leap across that line in the name of equality.

First off, it's bad tactics. The only way to win a conflict like this is to respect your opponents. Sure, some of the supporters of Prop 8 are dumb, crazy or hopelessly set in their ways, but if all its supporters were like that, we'd have been fine. The problem is that many of them are smart, sane and flexible. They're wrong, of course, but you can be wrong without being crazy — I do it on a daily basis (rimshot) — and if we treat them like subhumans, we're going to lose.

More importantly, though, it's hypocritical. Either you believe in equality or you don't. If you do, then you've got no place calling anyone inferior. If you don't, then I'm gonna do my best to keep your innate dignity and value as a human being in mind while I tell you to go fuck yourself.

Can you say "peristalsis," boys and girls?

Tue, 19 May 2009 13:56:48 GMT

silverspork81 So yeah, Komodo dragons?
Not actually receptacles of horrific bacteria that will kill you dead.
me WELL THAT'S A LOAD OFF MY MIND
wait, what?
silverspork81 But no less terrifying
Apparently for a very long time, scientists thought that Komodo dragons killed by biting their prey, infecting it with all manner of nasty bacteria in their saliva and then waiting for it to die.
(ew)
Turns out no, they're actually...y'know...venomous.
Which I would think they would have thought/checked first since its so common...
me yeah, that does seem odd
silverspork81 And they're fucking terrifying!
They can eat a goat in 15 minutes
15 MINUTES DAN!!!!
me So... I shouldn't get involved in a goat-eating contest with one. Check.
How are they with pie?
silverspork81 1 bite
If 15 minutes isn't fast enough, they'll charge against trees in an attempt to force the goat down their throats faster.
(this sometimes knocks over trees)
me WHAT
silverspork81 True fact
"Oh god, so hungry! Peristalsis not working fast enough! RAMMING SPEED!"
me *falls over*
that's awesome
silverspork81 This is your awesome biological fact of the day. Spread the word :)

Wed, 13 May 2009 15:32:22 GMT

Where: Magnolia's on S. Congress
When: 8ish
What: End-of-semester celebration, consumption of disturbing amounts of queso, dirty jokes.

(Yeah, sorry about the short notice, but we're going to Mag's tonight and you should join us. It's not technically my last night in town, but tomorrow I'll be packing like a motherfucker.)

Fri, 08 May 2009 21:55:16 GMT

Swine flu prevention information in 24 indigenous languages of Mexico.

(Sadly, no Chatino, which is the language that most of my classmates who work down there study. Not that I'd understand a word of it, but I still get all GO LONGHORNS when I see it mentioned somewhere.)

"Lubbock" is also fun to say. Lubbock. Lubbock Lubbock.

Sun, 03 May 2009 03:24:54 GMT

HOLY CRAP IT'S MAY.

Heading up to New York for the summer. Leaving on the 15th. There's something unaccountably pleasant about buying a one way plane ticket — I mean, I'm coming back and all, I just didn't want to commit to a date way ahead of time and then find out something dreadfully awesome was happening in NY the next day, but it still makes me feel more adventurous.

Austinites: We should hang out sometime, but OMG SHIT NOT THIS WEEKEND because I'm buried in last-minute school stuff, but maybe next weekend. Barton Springs? Yes. We should go to Barton Springs. Next weekend.

Northeasternites: (That so isn't a word. I just can't call you guys "Yankees" with a straight face. Even down here, nobody actually says "Yankee." Maybe in, I dunno, Lubbock or something.) I will be In Your Vicinity until August. You should totally come bum around the city with me, or barring that coax me out to your neck of the woods. I am easily coaxed, but also kinda broke, so I'll probably be a bit of a mooch. Those are a couple of awesome syllables there. Coax coax mooch. Coax mooch.

Everyone else: I am still nowhere near you. I'm sure you'll go on coping.

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 07:52:46 GMT

In vimperator, if you want to zoom out, you type zo.

I like to imagine someone shouting it at the screen, repeatedly if necessary — "zo! zo! ZO!" — preferably like gesturing wildly and making the sign of the cross or something. "Back! Back, fiend! Farther! ZO!" I haven't actually started doing this out loud yet, but it's probably just a matter of time.

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:14:11 GMT

The spoken portion of the British National Corpus has tags indicating the speaker's tone of voice.

Here's the official list from the BNC manual, which amused me beyond all reason:
• cheering • crying • eating • giggling • humming • humming the stripper’s song • imitates woman’s voice • imitating a monkey • imitating a sexy woman’s voice • imitating Chinese voice • imitating drunken voice • imitating Italian accent • imitating man’s voice • imitating posh voice • imitating woman’s voice • in a boyish voice • in the distance • laughing • laughing+reading • laughing+shouting • mimicking • mimicking American accent • mimicking American accent from Wayne’s World • mimicking an upper class person • mimicking baby voice • mimicking Birmingham accent • mimicking Chinese speaking • mimicking Cilla Black’s accent • mimicking crying • mimicking deep voice • mimicking Donald Duck • mimicking finance lady • mimicking Geordie accent • mimicking German accent • mimicking girlie voice • mimicking Henry Cooper • mimicking Jamaican accent • mimicking Manchester accent • mimicking mentally handicapped • mimicking northern accent • mimicking Pakistani accent • mimicking refined accent • mimicking Scottish accent • mimicking stupid man’s voice • mimicking Swedish accent • mimicking telephone voice • mimicking the German accent • mimicking whining • mimicking witch • mimicking Yorkshire accent • mimicking+screaming • moaning • mumbling • muttering • on telephone • praying • quoting • raising voice • rapping • reading • reading+laughing • reading+shouting • reading+whispering • screaming • shouting • shouting+laughing • shouting+spelling • sighing • singing • singing+laughing • singing+mimicking • singing+shouting • singing+whispering • singing+yawning • speaking as if mentally handicapped • speaking dramatically • speaking with mouth full • spelling • talking with mouth full • whingeing • whining • whispering • whispering+laughing • yawning • yawning+reading

Someone really needs to do a corpus study on the pragmatics of talking like Donald Duck.

Funny on account of true.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:39:46 GMT

Reminder

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:43:48 GMT

Movies at Fort Norton tonight at 7:00! Now featuring extra-special top-secret mystery guest!

(Since someone asked, feel free to bring extra-special top-secret mystery guests of your own. As long as they are awesome. Which, by the transitive principle of awesomeness, they totally will be. So, yeah. Go ahead and bring 'em.)

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 18:05:21 GMT

Only a non-American mind could conceive of a food product based on the union of "Texas" and "bagels."

SCIENCE!

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:50:24 GMT

I know there's a bunch of social-science types on here. Any of y'all have experience running surveys online? What worked? What didn't? Did you write/host your own survey pages or use one of the special survey-hosting sites out there?

Odd combinations.

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 08:09:21 GMT

Two slices wheat toast, then put on a layer of hummus with garlic, then two eggs fried in butter with garam masala. Sort of a Lumberjack Breakfast for hippie-ass lumberjacks.

Also, Eminem and Yackety Sax. I don't understand it but I like it.

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:17:04 GMT

Ah, there's that fever! Marvelous.

Sorry, DC folks. Unless I'm feeling fit and chipper first thing tomorrow morning, I'm staying home.

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 01:50:26 GMT

Blind Boys of Alabama at the Long Center on Sunday. Tickets aren't cheap (the nosebleed seats are $18) but I've seen them live before and they are completely awesome. Anyone wanna go?

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:31:53 GMT

Heh.

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:05:51 GMT

Still not smoking. So far the biggest temptation is watching The Wire. I blame Bubbles. I guess it's inevitable — a guy who can do "craving" well enough to play a homeless junkie, of course he can also make smoking look really appealing.

(And, okay, I know everyone else was raving about this years ago, but holy crap was that show good. I've burned through most of season 1 in the past few weeks, and already I can tell this is gonna be the first show that I actually miss when I make it to the end of the run. I guess now I have to quit mocking all y'all who were like that when Buffy ended, huh?)

Also, I don't really tend to buy into the Sarah Palin hate. I mean, I disagree with her on everything, and she's an incredibly clumsy politician, but as far as I can tell those cancel each other out — how dangerous can she be if she's already in over her head? Still, though, a Flyers game? Hockey fans in Philly and you thought they'd be nice to you? Huh.

Predictably, the lefty blogs think this is proof that Palin is eeevil — everybody knows that hockey fans can sense evil, right? — and the right-wing blogs think this is proof that Democrats are a bunch of angry ill-mannered motherfuckers. (If they're in Philadelphia? Yes, they probably are.) Dear lord I hate the internet when there's an election on.

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:20:22 GMT

Trashwad! Bedoofused! Pumpkinifier!

Also, Don King eats a sandwich.

(Also also, Don King has been a lightning rod for controversy throughout his career. Ironically, he has actually been struck by lightning three times in his life. For fuck's sake, people. Put down that metaphor.)

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:34:25 GMT

John Adams, Short Ride in a Fast Machine. Fuck yeah.

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 02:26:54 GMT

So, looking back on the past four years, Shevek saw them not as wasted, but as part of the edifice that he and Takver were building with their lives. The thing about working with time, instead of against it, he thought, is that it is not wasted. Even pain counts. —Ursula LeGuinn, The Dispossessed

In which the author breaks up with an inanimate object.

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:43:19 GMT

I think it's time to step away from the internet for a while.

One reason is that I need to get some work done and the web is my #1 favorite distraction.

Another reason is that I want to get out and socialize more. Lurking online when you're lonely is like eating aspartame when you're hungry — it may scratch the immediate itch, but it doesn't really meet the underlying needs.

Yet another reason is that I'm trying to put more energy into the real-world community I live in, and less into distant ones that I only get to visit occasionally. For the past decade, between a string of LDRs, the Midwest Ale and Four Quarters, my emotional and spiritual home has always been a good day's drive from my temporal address, and I'm sick of it. So I'm trying to focus on making my everyday life here in Austin as awesome as possible — and, despite the illusion of immediacy, MetaFilter and Zompist and blah blah blah aren't part of everyday life in Austin.

I'm keeping my email accounts. Nobody can survive without email these days. (Even Don Knuth, everyone's token example of Life Without Email, hasn't really given it up — just gotten important enough that he can make his secretary read it for him.)

There's two other applications that I'm on the fence about: LJ and AIM. The problem is, even though I use them 90% for procrastinating, the other 10% of the time I'm using them to keep in touch with old real-life friends who I care a lot about. And even if reading LJ is a horrible time-and-energy drain, posting here is still cheaper than therapy. (Only half kidding.) For now, I'm gonna keep the accounts but cut my friends list down to a bare minimum and see how that goes.

I know, I know, that was horribly rude of me. But seriously, it's nothing personal. If it makes you feel better, you should feel free to say nasty, biting things about me in posts that I won't read anyway because I'll be out flying a kite or something.